getting out of bed in winter is actually like stepping into antarctica
this cat is chubby halloween
THIS CAT HAS THE EYES OF SAURON
KIITTY TONGE KITTY TONEUG KTTY TONGUE
THIS KITTY IS SAURON.
the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it
Humans have 3 types of rods for processing color (red green and blue). Mantis Shrimp have 16.
Fucking shrimp. I will NOT be jealous of food.
"He’s behind me making that fucking face again. I don’t even have to turn around to know it. God damn it. I hate that goddamned stupid face he makes. God fucking damnit."
are you a dog? no ? goodbye
in 2 seconds you’ll be singing “I’m a Barbie Girl” in your head
I HOPE YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE
shout out to the peaceful skeleton communitity
- works in a kitchen
- wears an apron
- dark as in dark grey
- made of rock
- radda radda
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.